


Warped Words

by starrylitme



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2, Super Dangan Ronpa 2.5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Bondage, Complicated Relationships, Despair Era (Dangan Ronpa), Developing Relationship, Emotional Baggage, Hope vs. Despair, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mental Instability, Minor Violence, Past Violence, Pre-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-16 15:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19321138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: “Tell me how you really feel.”There's definitely chemistry between them, even with the twisted exchanges. It's a relationship Hinata Hajime can't help but find captivating.(Snippets into the lives and times of Komaeda and Hinata in a talentswap au.written for, uh, TalentSwap KomaHina Week.)





	1. At First Sight

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Don't They Go Hand-in-Hand?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14363988) by [starrylitme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme). 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this AU like, over a year ago. People had asked back then for more and since that friend is now running a week based on it, here I am. It's not covering the whole week this time, sadly, but there will still be multiple parts. :>
> 
> For the newcomers, the au in question was made by [gaynagitos](http://gaynagitos.tumblr.com) over on tumblr. A couple of ideas are my own indulgences but yeah.
> 
> Please enjoy~

It would be a lie to suggest Komaeda Nagito hadn’t caught his eye from the get go.

It had almost been like one of those cheesy dramas. The sakura trees in full bloom, a gentle breeze ruffling the other’s cottony hair, the careful way pale fingers swept back those wild strands, and then—Hinata saw that wretched uniform. His chest tightened hard enough to leave a bruise.

The headmaster had a worn hand on the reserve’s shoulder, the older man talking ever amicably. Hinata didn’t see that so much as he saw seething red when the reserve nodded dutifully with the smallest of smiles.

“Hey, what’s the deal here?”

He’s not so inept he doesn’t see the way the headmaster falters, formality straining and how he regards Hinata with apprehension. He definitely sees the way that hand tightens on the reserve, and he has half a mind to wrench it off and shoo the other away personally.

But of course. That would be **_out of line_**.

So, he just grins, tries to keep up a friendly air through gritted teeth.

“Greetings, Headmaster.” Once he got the polite greeting out of the way, he turned to regard the other coldly. “Aren’t you from the supplementary course? I’ve never seen one of you on campus before.”

_Because you’re typically not allowed to BE here._

“Komaeda-kun is an exceptional student,” the headmaster said warmly and almost defensively. “As a reward, I am giving him a quick tour of the main campus. Please get along with him, Hinata-kun.”

“Yes, of course,” he answered obediently. He still eyes Komaeda warily. “A tour, huh...just for doing well...”

“The exams at the reserve course are quite difficult,” Komaeda says sunnily with a voice akin to silk-laced steel. “After studying so diligently, it’s nice to see how carefree everyone else is.”

_Because of course we don’t have to worry about such stupid, inane things. Pweh._

And. Yet.

“Headmaster, if that’s the case then I wouldn’t mind showing him around.” Hinata gave his best grin. “I know my way pretty well, and I worry about how busy you already are.”

“That won’t be necessary, Hinata-kun,” Headmaster replied. “Really, it’s...”

“I insist.” Hinata couldn’t help but press, even as Komaeda’s stare narrowed sharply. “I’m really curious about the supplementary course, too.”

“Hm...” A low ambivalent hum, and then, an easy smile as expected of their headmaster. “Well, if you insist. It might be better for Komaeda-kun to hear about the main course from one of its students. What do you think, Komaeda-kun?”

“I don’t mind,” Komaeda said easily with untrusting eyes. Hinata took them in, reluctantly marveling at the unique shade of gray and green coupled with a curious twinkle. “Hinata-kun, was it?”

“Hinata Hajime,” he confirmed stiffly, sticking his hand out. He felt agitated and sticky, and it wasn’t helped by the coolness of Komaeda’s own hand as it squeezed his and gave a firm shake. “N... Nice to meet you.”

“Komaeda Nagito.” It really didn’t help, the unsettling brightness of this reserve’s smiling face. “Likewise.”

That had been enough to satisfy the headmaster, but Hinata almost felt sick, especially as his eyes traced every dimple of that smile. There wasn’t even the slightest twitch.

The sensation that washed over him, then... Something that disgusting and obscene could only really be described as love at first sight.

* * *

“Over there’s the student building—atop is the garden...”

Komaeda was a pretty attentive listener if nothing else. It was kind of creepy, the blatant eagerness to learn more whenever Hinata threw out the most unremarkable bit of information.

“Of course, that’s the school’s founder, uh you should know...”

“Kamukura Izuru.” The answer had been immediate, but Komaeda’s eyes were locked not on Kamukura Izuru’s hard gaze, but instead on the blade he wielded. “I know him. Of course.”

“I guess you wouldn’t even be here if you didn’t...” Hinata trailed off, and he’s so aggravated at this point that he’s tired and impatient. “So what’s your ploy, reserve?”

Komaeda’s lips twisted but his expression was unreadable. “You think there’s a ploy?”

“Do you want to join the main course? Is that it?” Hinata sneered at the thought. “Like hell. Talent is something you’re born with, you don’t earn it with high marks and perfect attendance.”

“Moral Compass is in fact a talent,” Komaeda said coolly. “However, I fell short for that. As you can no doubt tell.”

_No doubt, indeed. Someone like this is—just a little creepy._

His heart skipped a beat when Komaeda met his gaze, however briefly.

“It’s fine.” The words were slow, almost deliberate. “I can accept a failure to meet a certain standard. At least I had _tried_.”

“Tried?” Hinata scoffed. “If you don’t have the talent, you don’t have the talent. That’s all it is.”

“Yes. Sometimes. That is indeed the case.” Komaeda’s still smiling, but now it’s tighter at the edges, pulled over like plastic over leftovers. “It’s unfortunate.”

Hinata shrugged.

_Luck has **nothing** to do with it._

“It’s life.”

“It is how the world works, isn’t it?” There seemed to be more Komaeda Nagito wanted to say, so much so that the air was being dragged down with unspoken words. But instead of just going for it, Komaeda shakes his head with a sigh. He indicates a building in the distance. “Is that a shrine?”

“Huh? Oh yeah.” Hinata nodded along. “Maintained by the Ultimate Miko. What, do you want to pray?”

“I like shrines; my parents had one.” Komaeda shook his head, however. “I find going to them can calm me down.”

_I guess I understand that...?_

“Uh.” Hinata shuffled uncomfortably, definitely not wanting to think of his own family at that moment. “Fine, fine. Let’s go there next.”

_This guy..._

* * *

_He’s **something** , alright._

He was still predisposed to holding Komaeda Nagito with contempt, but annoyingly, he found himself drawn. Even to Komaeda Nagito’s intensifying gaze scanning the area. Hinata suppressed a shiver, a grin spreading across his lips, and felt the urge to shove the reserve into the fountain.

But he didn’t. Instead he just quietly trailed after Komaeda Nagito and paused when Komaeda knelt down to look at the blooming flowers. Komaeda’s stare was different, almost wistful or perhaps melancholy.

That moment of pause was only that. A moment.

“...I think I’ve gotten a good look around,” Komaeda finally says, standing up and wiping off his pants. “It’s a beautiful campus. As expected.”

“As expected,” Hinata snorted. “Seriously—are you like one of those kids touring the rich neighborhood?”

“I suppose that’s comparable, isn’t it? After all, Ultimates are treated like celebrities,” Komaeda said. “Do you know the saying? _Talent is conscious of its abundance._ ”

“Uh...” Hinata scowled. “If you’re looking for freebies, reserve, that’s just...”

“ _Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent._ ” A pause as Hinata just continues to glare. “Ah... I suppose you don’t know that quote either.”

Hinata’s glare narrows before he smirks.

“Well, I’m not much for words,” he admitted with a shrug. “But it says a lot about _you_ , doesn’t it? You borrow others’ words and leech off Hope’s Peak. You reserves really are the lowest of the low.”

Komaeda looked beyond unimpressed.

“You’re an asshole,” he just said. “But if that’s how you want to view me then go ahead. I don’t exactly care what a directionless fool thinks of me.”

_...directionless?_

“I have to admit, it is aggravating,” Komaeda went on. “All this talent and potential, gone to complete waste. Most of the students I’ve seen are just goofing around. The future is in their hands, the world looks towards them—and so little of them understand the gravity of that. Meanwhile in the reserve course, it’s constant pressure, constant stress, constant, constant, constant...”

He trails off.

“...it’s infuriating. Is this really what will propel our hopeful world into greatness? I wonder. I really do.”

Hinata trembled, bristling.

“That much resentment and envy can’t be healthy,” he said quickly and cheerily. “Just because you’re at the bottom line doesn’t mean you should be a bitch to your betters.”

“Right.” Komaeda’s expression doesn’t change. “My mistake. If I may ask—what’s your talent, Hinata-kun?”

“It’s luck. I won the lottery. So I’m almost as worthless as you are. Almost. But.” Hinata’s smile widens. “I’m aware of it. And I’m perfectly alright with how much better everyone else is.”

“I see.” Komaeda smiles back without any mirth. “Good for you.”

“You really piss me off. You said you’re good to go, right?” Hinata jerked his thumb into the west. “Then get out of here. You don’t belong and you’re a blight, especially with that gloomy attitude.”

“Right. I understand.” Komaeda’s head ducked. “Thank you for showing me around. I really do appreciate it. I apologize for my earlier behavior. It was inappropriate.”

_Seriously, saying that with ease—how much of a creep can this guy be?_

And, yet. When Komaeda’s gaze rose, Hinata was rooted.

“I really just want what’s best for everyone. I’ll do whatever it takes.” It was as if he was stuck in the swirling depths of green and gray. Thrilling, but also—“Whatever it takes.”

When Komaeda turns on his heel and strides away, Hinata is left breathless.

_Seriously what even the hell... That was...something else._

He couldn’t help but laugh.

_That kid is—really something else. If he weren’t a reserve, what would he bring, huh? If he were an Ultimate—I feel like I really could be crazy in love with him or something._

“Ehe. Hehe.” He giggled at the thought. “Seriously, what’s up with me today? Must be sick. I feel really fucking sick. Maybe Ultimate watching and shifting through my cards would help.”

_He’s not an Ultimate. So it’s best if I just forget all about him. He doesn’t matter and never will. Never ever. So calm down. Calm. Down._

He inhales. Exhales. Again. Again.

His heart’s still pounding, his face still flushed.

“S- _Shit_...”

_He really had such a **disdainful** look on his face._

* * *

It wasn’t the first disastrous crush he had, and he was able to bounce back relatively quickly. The more he thought about what that reserve said, the more it pissed him off, so he was able to stifle that annoying attraction considerably.

He would be fine. He was so sure he’d be fine.

And then.

And _then_.

“What did you think of Komaeda-kun?”

“He’s uh...something, headmaster.”

“Isn’t he?”

“Y... Yeah...”

When he ended up staring at the reserve in the distance, imagining Komaeda in a sea of misery and mediocrity, something—twitches inside of him.

Something swells like—a tumor.

“What are you doing here?”

Komaeda stands there, in that  _wretched_ uniform with a frown on his face.

“I was curious...and impulsive.” And how he curses that curiosity and impulsiveness now. “Honestly? I kind of want to deck you, but—I can’t get you out of my mind and that’s more my concern.”

“I see...” Komaeda blinks at him dully, but he offers a friendly, strained smile anyway. “So, what? Do you want to be friends?”

He burst out laughing at that.

“Don’t be absurd. I just want to learn more about you. Once you bore me enough, I’ll leave. I swear.”

“So that’s a promise?” Komaeda tilted his head, doe eyes inquisitive. “What if I work hard enough to be interesting? What are you going to do, then?”

“That’s impossible. Utterly impossible.” And yet, his heartbeat skipped at the thought. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Okay. Sure.” When Komaeda smiles, it’s a little too bright, a little too eager. Hinata wants to hate it but he kind of adores it. “Hinata-kun, was it? Please continue taking good care of me. Well, then. Shall we get going? Did you have a plan?”

“Nah, I’m winging it.” _I’m sure my fortune will more than make up for that._ “Let’s just see what happens. How this plays out. Something like that.”

“Something like that,” Komaeda echoes. “Alright.”

_The sooner I can get bored of you, the better—_

When he squeezed Komaeda’s hand again, the chill was enough to take a person captive.


	2. Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the Killing Game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially wasn't going to write for this day, but then I like...did. The prompt was "sdr2 scene redraw" and...yeah. Yeah. I whipped up this. It's short because it's like, one scene, but I had a lot of fun with it and I hope you do, too.
> 
> I'm all about the scene where Komaeda gets tied up and I probably should be sorry but I'm like.......not.

“Hinata-kun.”

When the door finally opened, he lifted his head weakly even as he grinned widely. Komaeda stood there in the entrance, frown deep and gray-green eyes looking down upon him with such—such disappointment and unease.

“There was a vote,” Komaeda says, almost apologetically. “It was agreed that you were to remain tied up and guarded. I tried to argue but I got shut down pretty harshly. The best I can do is this.”

With a sigh, Komaeda strode forward, setting down the plate. He looks at Hinata’s bound wrists and ankles mournfully.

“They wouldn’t let me have the key... Sorry. I’ll try harder to convince them next time. For now, you really need to eat. Oh. You can’t really eat like that can you...? Alright. I’ll feed you. Uh. Please don’t make it weird, Hinata-kun.”

“What’s weird is how nice you are,” Hinata chirped cheerfully, giggling as Komaeda shuffled him upwards into a more comfortable position. “I mean, I was just trying to help but I’d understand if no one else wanted to see my ugly mug ever again.”

“It’s because of the mastermind,” Komaeda snapped lowly, opening up the milk and pressing it to Hinata’s lips. Just how careful the other was in making sure the bottle didn’t spill earned a shiver down Hinata’s spine. “I can’t exactly expect every person to behave sensibly in a situation like this.”

“M-Mmm...!” Hinata swallowed, breathing when Komaeda pulled the bottle back oh so slightly. Hinata licked his lips, face splitting. “Yeah? Well. I guess people would show their ugliest selves at a death game. But Ultimates are above that, y’know? They’re—they’re on a whole other level.”

“Yes. You did say that.” Komaeda pinched Hinata’s nose. “What nonsense. If you aren’t trained to respond to life or death situations, you are going to behave erratically when put into one. This isn’t something people are just—immediately prepared for.”

“Nnnn... So cynical... Even though you’re hopeful, too... Aha...” Hinata smiled up at him dreamily. “I adore that about you.”

Komaeda’s frown only deepened.

“I worry about you. I don’t think this is an effective way of dealing with the situation. I’ll try harder to convince the others...but I should be trying harder to convince you, Hinata-kun.”

“Convince me?” Hinata’s eyes lit up, wide and gleaming. “Of what?”

“Of working with us,” Komaeda said. “If we’re going to win, we need to all work together against the mastermind. That includes you. If you’re a collective thorn in all our sides, well, we can’t focus on the true villain here.”

Hinata blinked, smile widening, teeth showing.

“Yeeeeah?”

“Yeah,” Komaeda huffed, breaking apart chopsticks to feed him rice next. “We also can’t have someone following through on your offers.”

“Mm, mm.” The rice was bland and sticky on his tongue, but as he admired the way Komaeda brushed his long white fringe back, he found he wasn’t minding the taste of nothing as he usually did. “Maybe that’s it...”

“That, being?”

“Your talent!” he exclaimed, sparkling with excitement. “Ultimate Leader! Or, like... Ultimate Rally...! Something like thaaaat?”

Komaeda snorted.

“You’re still worried about my talent in a time like this? You really are off, Hinata-kun.”

“I can’t help it,” he whined. “I just want to know what it is so badly... And I know it’ll help you. If you Ultimates combine your talents, then, surely.”

“And my talent could be utterly worthless in this situation. What then?” Komaeda nearly shoved more than a mouthful of rice into his face. “Whatever. Just keep eating. You need your strength. Although someone’s going to have to help you into the bathroom later—and that someone won’t be me, I can assure you.”

“A-Aww... Hhck!” When he chokes a little, Komaeda is quick to give him a drink as he massages his throat. Hinata tingles from the touch, his eyes also watering. “M-Mmm... Pwah. So forceful. Damn. That’s kind of hot.”

Komaeda lightly smacked his face.

“Seriously. What’s up with your priorities? Are you even scared at all?”

“Scaaared? Why?” Hinata shook his head as it was really the only way he could move. “Not only are all of you Ultimates, they’re led by someone like you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

“Someone like me, huh?” Komaeda droned, unimpressed. “We barely know each other.”

“But I’ve seen how you reacted thus far, and I’m pretty impressed! Rocky beginning aside, heheh!” Hinata grinned without fear, without concern. “If anyone can manage, it’s probably you. Ohhh, If I just knew your talent, I wouldn’t even have to think!”

Komaeda faltered, eyes downcast as he finishes off feeding him.

“I envy you. Being able to believe so wholeheartedly. I guess your warped thinking does have its benefits. I will—try harder to convince the others. For sure. And I’ll do my best to prevent any deaths in the future, it’s just...”

“Oh.” Hinata chewed and swallowed his last bite. “Did that tacky mascot introduce a new motive? What is it?”

“It’s... We’re not sure what it is.”

“You haven’t investigated it yet?” This time, Hinata’s tone is disapproving. “Whaaat? You think that’ll be allowed? You should hurry before someone acts out of line again.” He’s remarkably serious now. “That’s your concern, right? Being so cowardly doesn’t suit you at all, Komaeda.”

“How are you supposed to know what suits me and what doesn’t?” Komaeda muttered irritably before raising his voice. “And I am aware. I’m just worried about what it’ll do. It could seriously mess with our heads just by engaging with it. Well...”

Hinata chortled.

“I guess we’re already a little messed up,” Komaeda whispered, setting Hinata down carefully. “I’ll check in with you later, Hinata-kun. With how much I vouched against this—I doubt the others will take kindly to me spending most of my time here.”

“Don’t wanna ruin your standing,” Hinata slurred. “You’re special. I would hate to be a blight on that. So go on ahead. I’ll be waiting, Komaeda Nagito.”

Komaeda stiffened before he retrieved the tray.

“...behave. In the meantime. Goodbye.”

“See you, looooove you,” Hinata cooed. “So, so, soooo much!”

Grimacing, Komaeda turned on his heel.

_The future is definitely bright. I can’t wait._

The door is shut harshly behind him. Hinata remains prone on the floor, licking his lips.

_I really, really...want to see you and get to know you more. What are you capable of, Komaeda Nagito? What is your talent? Aha, I’m already enamored. How unsightly. How disgusting._

(Especially when he later realized the truth about him, which squeezed his heart harder than these ropes and chains could bind him.)


	3. Hollow Hope, Desperate Despair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He needs something to keep him going in this world of despair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the one I definitely wanted to write the most and had actually started writing second. I'm all about those despairverses and talentswap au is no exception. Characterizing Kamukura when he's technically a different person is a lot of fun in particular, and being from Komaeda gives him easily the most appealing design. So fluffy fluff. True despair is not being able to touch the fluff.
> 
> Still, he's very cute.
> 
> Hinata meanwhile is just a mess.

The rabbits were causing quite the ruckus. Those high-pitched squeals and cutesy giggles were mind-meltingly annoying and it was unsurprising that despair was only being driven deeper and deeper.

How lame.

_It **had** been funny at first,_ Hinata thought dully. _But then you realize the punchline is everything falling apart. That there’s no hero who swoops in to save the day._

He sighs even more heavily at the scattered wreckage. No one seemed to remain save for the rampant units. One of them trips into him, apologizes with a sickeningly sweet ‘pardon me’, and cries out oh so cutely when Hinata kicks it back down.

“Gross. So _gross_.”

He’s in such a low mood that he almost doesn’t misses something. Something significant. Somewhere in the sea of red and chaos, there’s white. Pure white fluttering in the air atop the building.

“Oh,” Hinata exhaled, a smile spreading across his face. “How _lucky_.”

* * *

“Kamukura Izuruuuu! It’s good to see you!!”

He’s wheezing, panting, and sweaty when he gets there. Since electricity was understandably out, he had to run up several flights of stairs. His body is aching but the adrenaline pumping is such a welcome feeling.

Even when that fire inevitably peters out when Kamukura Izuru slowly turns towards him, crimson eyes as vacuous as the despairful sky.

“It’s been a while,” Hinata rambles almost manically. “Things are so boring! And now you’re here! What... What are you going to do?”

Kamukura Izuru says nothing, simply continuing to stare at him. Those thick ivory curls flutter with the breeze, and even now they look like a joy to rake his fingers through.

_When I saw Komaeda Nagito for the first time—his very appearance captivated me much the same way. And now..._

Now, Kamukura Izuru’s red eyes dully bore into him. The curve of his frown is as set as an engraving in stone. Even when stepping back, foot now hovering over that ledge, there is no change in that expression.

“Haha, ahaha, seriously?” Hinata’s grin is splitting. “Wait, you’re not—you’re not going to make me run all the way back down, are you?”

Kamukura Izuru jumps. And so Hinata runs.

* * *

“You, uff, huff, youuuu, _urgh_ , are unbelievable!!”

He feels so sick that he almost throws up. His mouth still tastes sour, and he’s on his hands and knees, curling towards the ground and groaning.

“Urgh... Ughhhh...”

“From the bitterness of disease man learns the sweetness of health,” Kamukura Izuru intones lyrically. “The tiredness of the body is the health of the soul.”

“Oh my goooood, you still talk like that, huuuuuh?” Wiping off his mouth, Hinata does manage a small chuckle. “Still not good enough for your actual damn words, huh? Well, that’s alright. I get it. My value as a human being is at an all-time low.”

“Pray for your health first, then pray for humanity,” was Kamukura’s ever helpful, ever absolutely hopeless remark.

“Praying, huh...” Swallowing back saliva, Hinata managed to push himself back to his feet. He rubs his thighs as they continue throbbing terribly, but with a few hums, he’s back to high spirits. “Well. I guess I was praying before.”

Tottering forward, Hinata reached out for Kamukura Izuru.

“I definitely wanted to see you.”

Kamukura Izuru dodges that hand, unimpressed, while Hinata remembers the sensation of Komaeda’s cheek against his palm. With a soft chuckle, his hand drops.

“Even though I have no earthly clue why.”

_Urgh... This is so despairing it makes sick. Sicker._

He stumbles and ends up tripping, knees colliding harshly with the pavement.

“Urgh.” He runs irritated fingers through his hair. “I’m so tired of this. What even is there to _do_?”

“To do nothing is the way to be nothing,” Kamukura said.

“Shut uuuuuuup.” Hinata groaned, hand running down his face. “I’m so tired of your damn proverbs.”

Kamukura Izuru loomed over him, ever unreadable and detached. Those long silken white locks were just out of contact, and Hinata knew he’d still pull away from any reach.

_Tantalizing. Because Tantalus. Ha. Ha. If it were still Komaeda, he’d get it. Probably. Buuuut it’s not._

“I need to go lie down somewhere,” he said, rubbing at his temple. “Stay with me for a while.”

Kamukura perked, but he remained quiet.

* * *

There’s a park just outside of town. It was long abandoned, of course, but Hinata still dropped by to lie on one of the benches atop the hill. Back then, it would’ve made for a nice view, but Hinata’s long tired of wreckage and the withered remains of wildlife.

Kamukura still stares vacantly. Hinata almost wants to tumble into him, but he doesn’t want to end up tumbling down the hill so he ignores that want for now. And forever.

Despite his unmoved stare, Hinata does note that Kamukura is picking leaves from his hair.

“...”

When he was a kid, he had a big fluffy dog. She was pretty rambunctious, often rolling around in dirt and leaves. He always had to brush her fur thoroughly to get it clean, and she would only ever stay still precisely the amount of time it would take.

She was affectionate, but stupid with dopey eyes. She bumped into things all the time. She hadn’t seen the truck.

“...”

Kamukura Izuru reminds him of her—despite their personalities being nothing alike. Those two were more similar than him and Komaeda Nagito. Funny how that worked.

_Hilarious_.

“You know...” He almost trails off. “Komaeda Nagito was high-strung and stubborn...but he was also unbearably charming. Super attentive. Bright-eyed. Different from you in so many ways...”

_And yet you’re almost as adorable as he is. Almost. Ha. Ha._

“You’re not driven at all. If Komaeda saw how he’d turn out, I wonder if it would break him.” He shivers at the thought even though he knows he’s glad to not know for sure what would be the case. “But I doubt that matters to you.”

Kamukura remains quiet as per usual, still disinterestedly staring in the distance. That was answer enough.

“Hey... Can I touch your hair?”

_“Uwah! So soft!”_

_“Q-Quiiiiiiit.”_

“Never mind,” Hinata quickly snapped, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Forget it. Just forget it.”

_“I actually like superhero stories.”_

_“Whaaat? That’s so lame!”_

_“Coming from the Ultimate Card Collector!”_

_“Haha, nope, that’s not me, silly. I actually have the actual person right here...”_

_“Hey, Hinata-kun.”_

_“Hm?”_

_“My favorite superheroes are normal people that choose to take on that duty. Isn’t that so admirable?”_

_“So like, Ratman...? I guess I liked that show...when I was, uh, a kid.”_

_“More than just Ratman! So much more! But what do you think, Hinata-kun?”_

_“It’s definitely a fantasy.”_

“Forget all of it,” he said. “It really, truly doesn’t matter anymore.”

Kamukura Izuru does make a sound akin to agreement. Or maybe that was something else. Maybe he imagined it. He had been letting his imagination run wildly these days with so little to do.

_I really need more excitement._

* * *

“Kamukura? Oi, Kamukura!”

He’s following him now, weaving through the rubble that Kamukura jumps over with ease.

“Seriously, wait up—!”

He’s still tired and irritated. He nearly trips, grumbling, and when he looks up to that fluffy, fluttering white hair. It’s a brief moment, but—

“Koma—kura!”

He would’ve crumbled if he hadn’t been caught. His heart leapt into his throat, the other person was soft and warm, cottony strands tickling his cheeks, and when he gasped, he breathed in the scent of dust and _him_.

He was quickly placed back onto his feet, and the other pulled back as if it were nothing. His stare was as cool as ever even when meeting Hinata’s wide, glimmering gaze.

“...Ah. Haha...” Sucking in air, despite the undeniable heat rising in his face, Hinata felt a lot colder. “Komakura. Y’know what? That actually suits you more than Kamukura. You’ve got that scary expression, but—with hair like that, there was no denying you were him, once.”

This time. He does see it. The slightest shift in that impassive face. For once, Hinata wondered if he was curious about—about his old self. If only asked, Hinata would’ve rambled and raved about Komaeda for hours. He still does when memories of the other make his loathsome and lonesome self more aggravated than usual.

“Komakura... Izuru...? No, Zuiru?” Hinata mused aloud before giggling. “Komakura Zuiru? I think that’s a name that suits you better than the old founder. It’s cute and peculiar, like you.”

That crimson stare bores into him as per usual. That pale face—Komaeda’s pale face—is set in the usual frown, too. But with those still round cheeks and furrowed brow that had been a part of Komaeda’s endearing expressions, Hinata still feels that painful swell of affection.

_You’re nothing like him. But I don’t think you’re anything like what Hope’s Peak intended to create, either. Such a unique being you are._

“Zuiru, Zuiru, Komakura Zuiru,” he giggles again. “I like that a lot, actually. Can I call you that from now on?”

One blink. Two. And then, the other spins on his heel.

“Do as you wish.”

_As you wish._

Hinata’s breath caught, heart skipping a beat. Komakura simply strides ahead without another word. With how quiet his footsteps could be, Hinata only really heard his own racing pulse, his desperate shuffling, and his wheeze of glee.

“Wait up, wait up! Komakura Zuiru!”

* * *

“You know,” he tells Komakura later. “I loved that person quite a bit. He was a stubborn idiot without any talent, but when I saw him, I couldn’t help but feel giddy. Like, immediately optimistic?”

Komakura does lean away from him, and Hinata stops himself from doing anything impulsive. Even as he remembers clinging to Komaeda’s arm with abandon. The way Komaeda would smile with exasperation but his own affection.

“Even now, when I think about him, I feel...pretty funny.” Hinata laughs, but not with much humor. “That’s weird, isn’t it?”

“Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,” Komakura responds. “But bears it out even to the edge of doom.” A pause. “Something like that.”

Hinata snorts, nearly choking on saliva. With a few coughs, he smacks his chest a few times and manages to swallow so that he could breathe. His throat still stung, so he rubs it idly.

“I guess so, yeah, I get what you mean,” he says, not really getting it at all. “When the person you love is fundamentally altered—I wonder what you’re supposed to do then.”

When he does look at Komakura, quiet and distant, he can’t help but think of the moon. The moon with the rabbit pounding mochi. Even now he wants to wrap himself up in that ivory and, perhaps, he wants to entwine with those pale fingers. Paler than even Komaeda’s.

“If you could have chosen to exist, I wonder what you’d pick,” Hinata mused. “I presume you wouldn’t want an existence that was used to instigate the world’s despair. That’s just so tragic and dumb. I bet something like a superhero—would be more fitting. Maybe?”

“Existence is simple, however people insist on making it complicated.” Komakura’s long eyelashes lower over his dull crimson gaze. To call it entrancing would be an understatement. More so with the side-remark, “What an asinine question.”

“I guess it’s stupid to wonder about that,” Hinata agreed, chuckling. “But, hey, I think it would be cool—for superheroes to be real. It’s still nothing more than a fantasy. But. But, but.”

He pushes himself up.

“Despair will lose. It’ll have to. There’s no way the world is that fucked.” He shook his head. “Y’know what...? I’m gonna do it. Once Hope’s Peak opens its doors again—I’m going to kill the heart of despair. Even if means I won’t be able to survive afterwards. I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I swear it.”

Komakura’s frown deepens.

“There is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men.”

“Haha, madness? Madness? It’s motivation! Hope! Hatred!” Clenching his fists, Hinata couldn’t help but tremble with unbridled glee. “No matter what happens, no matter what may come to me afterwards—I’m just so sick of it! I’m sick of moping! I’m going to kill despair. It’s a promise now. No take backs!”

Thinking about it now, he was beyond pumped.

“I’m going to destroy it. Maybe even consume it so that it never spreads again. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.”

_(He never got the chance, of course.)_

“So, I better head over there now. Lie in wait. The very second those doors open, and despair totters out... I won’t hesitate.”

_(He says all this, but he never even considered despair being defeated before then.)_

“Komakura Zuiru... Ah...” He breathes, and for a brief moment, the poison in his brain and bloodstream filters as he gazes upon the warped face he still helplessly adored, even when the person wearing it wasn’t his beloved. Perhaps, then, he loved Komakura in a different way.

“Once that happens...and if I die... You’ll live on, won’t you? Please? You’ll be my hope.”

“...”

“Ahaha... I don’t want to hear anything else that’s not from you. I don’t want to cling to something so detached.” He runs his fingers through his hair, and Komakura opens his mouth. Hinata goes on, unimpressed. “There’s a proverb I’m pretty aware of. A drowning person will grasp even at straws.”

Komakura’s mouth shut.

“I’ve been drowning for so long,” Hinata murmured. “I’m decaying at this point. There’s no resurfacing. Before I disappear—I’m going to do it.”

_(And then, what was there left to do after such a tumultuous failure? Hope? Despair?)_

“I’ll destroy despair, even if that means destroying myself.”

_(He really should’ve known that with his luck, he’d be stuck with nothing._

_Stuck living. Stuck with these damn shackles._

_Irritated, aggravated—but undeniably anxious with anticipation._

_What would happen after that?)_

“...”

_(Blossoming hope...or burrowing despair?)_

“Please live, Komakura.”

_(Perhaps both.)_


	4. Self-Destruct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata Hajime, the World Destroyer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I wrote sdr2.5 for this verse because of course I did. Yes, it ended up a lot more messed up than I thought it would. I thought it'd be a fun reversal if instead of the World Destroyer, Alter Ego was instead like... I don't know... The World Maker? And Hinata self-destructs so much which makes it a problem? It's like where Komaeda builds walls, Hinata just crumbles. Does that make any sense?
> 
> Well. I had fun with this one. I hope you have fun, too.
> 
> Before I forget: The different events of Chapter 5 aren't my original idea. I took them from the discord server I was on. Because, um, I-I thought it was really good. So don't credit me for that. I'm not that creative lol.

Once again, he found himself in a pure white room, surrounded by the sound of ocean waves, fluttering leaves, and chirping birds. An unsettling, disconnected ambience that could’ve been nothing more than a low drone with how Hinata didn’t seem to notice it.

“I’ll ask you again,” the brilliant being asks. “What do you want? These past layers consist of failure and delusion one after another. You truly are such a stubborn and dishonest person.”

“I’m not sure what else I can even say,” Hinata responded tiredly. “I’ve thrown out ever fantasy I could think of. It’s not my fault what you make is so—so dissatisfying. It’s exhausting. I’m getting bored.”

Fingers are snapped and they’re as deafening as gun shots.

“Well perk up. Stay ‘awake’. If you fall any deeper, you may never wake again. There has to be something you’ve yet to admit to yourself.”

“Mmm... Hhhhh...” Hinata droops. “Well. You’re the one in charge. You tell me.”

“...perhaps I should look at something a little more...base.” A sigh. “You had denied this so fervently, and like a fool, I had pushed it aside. But now, I am desperate to keep you alive and active by any means necessary.”

“Yeah?” Hinata laughed mirthless at the thought. “Sure, sure. That doesn’t sound nuts.”

“This should work if nothing else.”

The being comes closer, so radiant that it almost hurts to look at. Squinting and scowling, Hinata held his arm over his eyes just as his shoulders were taken and squeezed.

“Hi-na-ta-kun.”

And just like that, the radiance began to clear even as it remained near blinding. But Hinata’s eyes widened considerably, breath catching as his vision blurred into familiar shades of red and white.

“Or Hinata Hajime?”

Either way, the voice was the same. A low dulcet, warm and gentle. Music to his ears, resounding over and over in his head.

“W-Wait...” Hinata almost scrambled back, but he was terrifyingly held in place. “H-Hold on! Not _him_! Either him! Either of them!”

“Just how long are you going to run from your feelings?” the being asks, almost mournfully. Much like _he_ would. During...during that time...on the island.

“I don’t want to see them!” Hinata shrieked. “Shouldn’t you respect that? I don’t want to see them!”

“Hinata Hajime,” the being says, dully and blankly. Empty wistfulness in a world of darkness and despair. It almost brought tears to his eyes as he choked on a sob.

“Not them... _anyone_ but them.”

“You cannot run forever,” the being stated, and it leans in, pressing soft lips to his that he had felt and reveled in so many times that it really, truly, utterly destroyed him.

* * *

“Hinata? Heeeey, Hinata? Hey!”

He’s shoved a little harshly, earning a not quite yelp. When he turns, Owari looks pretty unimpressed with him.

“You weren’t listening, and you seemed to be pretty out of it.”

“Is everything alright?” Sonia asked gently, touching his shoulder. “Have you been getting enough sleep?”

_Sleep? I—_

Flashes of warmth with little color. They felt distant and detached so he laughed it off pretty easily.

“Maybe not! I keep staying up reading! Whoops!”

“Seriously?!” Koizumi griped from a distance. “You and your silly comic books! Can’t you get a better hobby?”

“Whaaat? Like collecting trading cards?” he asked cheekily. “That way I can marvel over them even at school?”

“What kind of cards are you considering?” Sonia asked, genuinely curious.

“Ehhh? I dunno. Maybe of plants or something. It’s not like there’s really anything else of note.”

_Yes, that’s right. Because in a world like this..._

**_Everyone, including myself is completely, utterly, and irrevocably normal._ **

* * *

No one stood out. No one crossed any lines. No one was significant. No one was special.

Everyone was mundane and ordinary, albeit not always in the same ways. But every single way, regardless of the differences, was the same amount of ordinary.

Any one of them or all of them could die, and nothing would change at all.

Not a single thing.

* * *

“Owari-san...! Oh, Owari-san!”

Sonia is sobbing into her hands, crumbled before the picture of Owari’s grinning face.

Hinata blinks.

“Sonia! Dammit! Sonia, no! Why?!”

Owari beats the ground, tears running down her face, as Sonia’s picture continues to smile back serenely.

Hinata blinks.

Both of them are dead and he feels nothing, really.

_This isn’t right._

He swallows and leaves the funeral.

_No, no, it’s...it’s normal. Death is normal and natural. Just what—the hell?_

“You really are warped, Hinata Hajime.”

Hinata stops in place, stiffening. The clouds are swirling gray above, but the person that stands before him is pure white save for those crimson red eyes.

“Who...the hell?” Hinata growled, unnerved. “What the fuck are you?!”

This person, who was radiant and beautiful, glimmering with a white and red aura—was not just different, they were _unusual_.

“G... Get out! You don’t... You don’t belong here!” Hinata found himself screaming. “You don’t belong! I don’t want to see you!”

“Oh really?” The question is asked in an achingly innocent tone. “Isn’t that a lie?”

“No, it’s not!” he yelled and could barely hear himself over the booming thunder.

“You really are so twisted by guilt. Do you really think you can keep running away? You mustn’t. You mustn’t run away. I will keep you safe, but when the time comes, I will take you back.”

Hinata’s hands clamped over his ears so that he couldn’t hear it. It started raining—no, it was pouring. In a heavy deluge that he could’ve drowned in.

_...drowned?_

He remembers drowning. His lungs filling with water, his heart all the heavier.

_It’s done,_ he had thought. _They killed me. They all killed me. Ñ̷̨̛̻͑̐̆̆̀͌̌̊̐͝͝â̶̹̄̽̐g̶̢̮̩͍͕̺͉͓̝̍̓̓̑̔̅ỉ̷͇͐͆ţ̶̜̮͔͔̍̍̌͜ơ̷̰̗̥͎̹͚̪̰͓͙͍̝͌̒̈́̆̐̇͗͊̅͝ͅ...had killed me._

**_N̶͙a̷̮̔g̸̱̑i̶̝͗t̶̫͑o̴̙͝_ **

Despite everything, his heart leapt at the static. The abnormality. Warped and twisted beyond recognition—there was what he knew was a gentle, smiling face. That, somehow that, hurt more than the drowning, the pain, the everything he had ever been through—

How many days, months, years did he go without seeing that smile, without entwining his fingers with cold pale ones, without ruffling soft white hair... And yet, Hinata had managed because he was there.

_He...?_

No.

No.

**_No, no, no, no, no,_ no _._**

“Hinata Hajime—”

**_Thud._ **

In the next second he was aware, he had lurched forward, tackling the other to the ground. In the second after, he had his hands wrapped tightly around that pale throat.

Red eyes flickered up to his, and as Hinata panted, he noted how much darker that white hair framing the other’s face got when heavy with rainwater. That expression was impassive—this thing didn’t feel like a person.

And yet, that face morphed into one that was the same but wasn’t—that hurt so much to look at his vision blurred. A face of mournful disappointment.

“Did you really want me dead that badly?”

“N... No... Of course I didn’t,” Hinata stammered without thinking. “But—but you were despair! You gave yourself into despair! Y-You destroyed yourself...and you helped destroy the world... How could I just...forgive that?”

“You hated me that much? So, you no longer...loved me?”

“No! God! I wish I didn’t but I did! I still loved you!” Hinata squeezes his eyes tight, and he grips that neck tighter. “I wanted to hate you, I wanted... I...”

“Why don’t you, then?”

The question is soft, so delicate that it’s almost torn apart by the storm on the spot. In spite of that, Hinata hears those words, and they resound louder than thunder, more striking than lightning.

“...I’m sorry. I... I’m so...so sorry...”

His breath hitches between the words. He almost can’t hear anything else.

“I’m so, so sorry... Nagito... Please... Please...” He almost gasps, choking out a sob. “Please don’t forgive me.”

Everything fell apart just like that.

* * *

He’s left curled into a ball within a world of nothing. He only shivers when arms wrap around him from behind, a familiar face nuzzling against his own.

“This is...so useless,” Hinata muttered bitterly into his knees. “Keeping myself alive like this—after everything I did. After everything I failed. It’s...pointless, isn’t it?”

“You keep wrecking any world the program comes up with because you can’t stand to be happy,” the other observes. “Your self-loathing really does run so worryingly deep, Hinata Hajime.”

“Hah...” Hinata let his eyes fall shut. “Yeah... Obviously. Wouldn’t you hate a guy like me, too? He should hate me. More than anything or anyone—that person should hate me.”

“It is not within your rights to decide how someone feels towards you,” is the reply. “And that’s what terrifies you most, correct? More so than the idea of being forgiven when you’re filled to the brim with guilt and shame.”

He could remember it.

Setting up his murder. Knocking out Komaeda, seeing the stricken look of betrayal before he fell to the ground. Dressing Komaeda in his clothes and tying him up, setting up the trigger for the metal fire that would activate from Komaeda’s squirming. Letting himself dangle on the other edge of a rope, standing on the cliffs, overlooking the roaring blue waves. Once the fire burned predictably hotter from the others throwing the fire extinguishers, he lost his balance and fell into the ocean.

It was a good plan to get them all killed. All it took was the betrayal of the one he loved and the compassion of everyone else to try and save Hinata, despite all the trouble he caused them.

He deserved to die from that. He didn’t. Because it was all fake. A damn simulation.

_And, now..._

“If Nagito smiled at me after all that... I don’t think my heart would be able to take it.”

Hinata’s squeezed tightly, in such a warm embrace that he really, really hates it. But he hates his weakness of leaning into it.

“What you really want is what you’re most afraid of. You know you can’t run away forever, Hinata Hajime.”

“I know,” he replied miserably. “I know, but...”

“You were haunted by last time you saw that person’s face, but what face do you think he’ll make if you never woke up?”

It’s too painful to even try to imagine.

“Is this really the depth of your despair?”

_Despair...? I..._

“I guess, like this, it’s easiest to hope that Nagito won’t forgive me,” he said. “If I never see him again—I’ll never know. So I can hope. And hope.”

“I see.” The being pulls away. “How wretched.”

“I don’t expect you to understand,” Hinata retorted. “Alter Ego, was it?”

When he glances back, Komaeda Nagito’s face with Komakura Zuiru’s cold eyes glare down on him. That look darkens, and Hinata can’t help but crack a smile.

“Scaryyyy. Haha.” He chuckles into his hand. “Geez... My mind really knows how to torture me.”

“You really would rather remain in this prison despite that?” The tone is harsh. “Rather than return to the other world—where your beloved awaits.”

_My beloved, huh._

Hinata falters.

“Komaeda Nagito really was a hopeful guy, wasn’t he? He always worked hard and looked towards the future—I really envied him for that, I suppose. Maybe I wanted to be more like him. Driven and idealistic.” But he had never really known what he wanted to do with himself. He had only known who to look towards. He couldn’t see potential or even a future for himself at all. But Komaeda Nagito saw something. And whatever it was—it had been significant. Someone like him. Had been _significant_. “Nagito may not have had a talent, and he may have given up everything for something stupid but... He really had been inspiring.”

A pause.

“I still don’t think working hard is guaranteed success. But...it must be nice to believe.”

“That, I suppose, is hope,” the being replies. “You can wield it as your own, if you like.”

“Nah. That’s just not me. I’m way too cynical to believe like that.” Shaking his head, Hinata did mull it over. “Then again, I’m supposed to be the kind of guy who bounces back easily.”

“You want to see him, don’t you?” the other asked. “Don’t you?”

Hinata sighs heavily, and then. And then.

“I love him, and that’s the beginning and ending of everything. Isn’t it?”

He receives no response this time save for an offered hand. Swallowing, Hinata took that hand and gripped it tight enough to crush.

* * *

“Hi... Hinata-kun?! Hey, Hinata-kun, can you hear me?!”

...

“Aha... A lot has happened, so it’s understandable to be disoriented. But I’m glad you’re awake right now. I was really worried about you.”

...

“Do you remember me? I’m glad. Especially since I’m still pretty pissed at you. But... Well.”

...

“W-Welcome back, Hinata Hajime.”


	5. Our Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They'll be fine because they're together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual I have to end things on a gooey note because I never get tired of KomaHina reconciling after the events of sdr2. That doesn't change with a talentswap au. It makes me happy. Sappy, but happy. Unfortunately we're going to have to end things here because I just didn't have the time to write further. Aaaaaaa, I hope that's okay!!! I did write a little more than expected, so I can't say I'm too disappointed in myself. :'D
> 
> Well, I'm glad that I managed to participate either way. I'm probably always going to love this ship regardless of the variation and working with talentswap was a lot of fun. There were so many good ideas I saw, too! I can only hope my additions are satisfactory. Anywayyyyy, thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are much appreciated as always!

His hair was getting long again, and rather than having it cut, Komaeda just tied it back. With that, his polished suit, and his glasses, it really was unfair just how attractive he was. And how cool and unmoved he could be even when Hinata tackled him for a hug.

“Na-gi-to! You’re working again!”

“Because there’s a lot to do,” Komaeda replied simply. “And I’m being relied on. We can’t all be jokesters like you, Hajime.”

_The more things change,_ Hinata thought fondly, tugging at Komaeda’s ponytail.

“All work no play isn’t exactly healthy either you know. Come on.” He nuzzled Komaeda’s cheek. “Take a break and mess around with me for a little bit. Just a little. Pretty please?”

Komaeda pushed him off none too gently. He landed with a harsh thud and a low grunt.

“Sorry,” Komaeda whispered. “I’m still not used to having that much strength.”

Komaeda is looking at his hand blankly, curling in his fingers before slouching over his desk.

Hinata blinks a few times, and his side is still throbbing but he grins anyway.

“It’s no big deal,” he chirps. “Zuiru once threw me onto my back when I tried to jump onto him. I saw my life flash before my eyes! Haha!”

“Sometimes I get like that,” Komaeda murmurs. “Violent urges whenever someone gets too close—it terrifies me. I don’t like it.”

“It didn’t hurt that bad,” Hinata said in a lame attempt to be reassuring. “I don’t even think I’ll bruise.”

Komaeda buries his face into his hands. It actually hurts to see.

“Maybe you’re just overly agitated,” Hinata suggested, swallowing. “When was the last time you got any sleep, Nagito?”

“...a while ago,” Komaeda almost croaks. “Probably—a few days? But with Kamukura Izuru’s abilities I should be able to work for at least five more days before exhaustion starts to have an effect on me.”

Hinata gets to his feet. He doesn’t think, he just lurches forward and embraces the other tightly again, squeezing hard and fast.

“That’s no good,” he says in a low serious voice that makes Komaeda shiver. “You shouldn’t wait that long, Nagito. I love that you’re so hardworking, but how is that responsible?”

Komaeda says nothing to that, but he takes Hinata’s wrist and squeezes back, almost pleadingly.

“Come on. Please?” Hinata kisses along his jaw. “Hey, if you don’t get up—there’s no telling how desperate I’ll get.”

“Hajime...”

He wasn’t told to stop, so he kissed the hollow beneath Komaeda’s ear. He feels his face warm as he buries his face into Komaeda’s neck.

“I...”

Hinata’s heart is pounding, almost louder than Komaeda’s trailing off whispers.

“I guess a little nap wouldn’t be too bad.”

Hinata pulls away, giving a crooked smile as he does. His breath nearly catches when Komaeda returns that with a small smile of his own.

“Well...” Komaeda rubs at his neck, cheeks pinking a little as he plucks off those glasses. “You can just do whatever you want, I suppose.”

He stands up, but before he goes, he plants a quick kiss on the corner of Hinata’s twitching mouth.

“Have a nice night, Hajime.”

He leaves, just like that, quietly and easily, as if he hadn’t caused a bone-splitting whirlwind in Hinata’s chest just from that one action.

It hurts. He’s not even sure if he’s happy about it.

“Night,” he can only reply, nearly biting his tongue as he did.

* * *

“Welcome back, Hinata Hajime.”

It still hurt, all of it. His limbs from disuse, his head from the coma, and—the scars. From the time of despair and his missing hand. That thing had been removed and it hurt, but it was definitely for the better.

“Hinata-kun,” the person says, and when Hinata does glance, he sees that their eye color is strange. An almost meld between brilliant red and soft foggy green. Blood-dyed lichen, he thought of. “Are...you with me?”

“Should I call you Nagito? Or Zuiru?” Hinata asked dully. “Or are you just—the one I love?”

“Ah.” The other blushes and then he laughs. “All of those apply, right?”

“Yeah, they do...”

Weakly and tentatively, his arms wrap around the other. They smell of antiseptics and dust—but if Hinata buried himself deep enough, he’d pick up traces of the sakura shampoo that Komaeda Nagito inexplicably favored.

He’s embraced in return, the other letting out a happy little sigh.

“I’m sorry, Nagito.”

“I’m glad you’re back.”

They spoke at the same time, words blurring together.

“I...” Hinata couldn’t help but laugh. “I knew you’d bring me back.”

* * *

He’s thankfully asleep when Hinata checks in on him later. He’s seen Komaeda sleep before and sometimes, very rarely, he’d catch glimpses of Komakura with his eyes shut and his position very still. Hinata expected that’d be the case here, but the other’s chest rises and falls with each breath, his expression serene.

_I guess that’s a good thing._

He should leave it at that, but instead he can’t help but draw closer. Without thinking, he brushes the ivory strands back, sighing.

_Both of them being able to relax—that’s a good thing. That’s all I really wanted._

**_If only I could be that selfless._ **

He takes that pale hand, kissing the knuckles softly before departing.

* * *

He’s taken to looking at the stars during nights he can’t sleep. The stars from the island are the prettiest he’s ever seen, and even now, he still admires their distant beauty.

He missed them during the days of despair, but, he hadn’t really mourned them until he saw them again for the first time after waking from the simulation. Funny, how just some twinkling white lights scattered across swashes of black and dark blue could bring a guy to tears. Even now, his eyes sting a little.

“Urgh...” Hinata rubs at them furiously with his good hand, because doing so with the robotic hand nearly damaged his sight. “Dammit, how lame.”

_I still find myself at a loss of what I’m supposed to do. Everyone else still has their talents that they can find uses for and means of getting through the day. Nagito works hard as he always did. Me, meanwhile, I’m just completely stuck._

Hinata sighed into his hand, not quite moping but definitely in a lesser mood over the fact.

_What can someone like me even do to help? Why did I get a second chance?_

Because Komaeda Nagito and Komakura Zuiru didn’t want to give up on him.

“Haaaah.”

“Hypocrite.”

Hinata nearly jumped, and already Komaeda had plopped down beside him, pouting.

“Y-You’re supposed to be sleeping,” Hinata muttered lamely. “Don’t tell me I woke you up earlier...?”

“We actually haven’t talked for a while,” Komaeda said, unimpressed and inelegantly avoiding the question. “I figured I should at least ask how you are.”

“How I...?” _How the hell am I supposed to answer that?_ “I’m doing about as well as you can expect.”

“You seem...lost.” Komaeda’s frown deepened. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s not your fault, Nagito,” Hinata retorted, huffing. “If anything I should be thanking you. Like, kissing your feet and worshipping the ground you walk on.”

“And yet you don’t.”

That got Hinata to stiffen, more so when Komaeda’s strange multi-colored gaze meet his.

“I was not sure...what behavior I predicted from you. Further idealization...or irreverence... But instead you’ve been subdued. It seems you’ve had much on your mind.” A pause. “I ask again. How have you been?”

“There have been hardships, there have been delights,” Hinata answered sardonically. “These violent delights have violent ends.”

Those eyes narrowed sharply.

“If you are going to take shade, do so under a large tree.”

_Like you?_ Hinata’s smile twisted at the thought. _Haven’t I done that enough?_

“How can you even stand to look at me?”

The question slipped out before he could reconsider, but Komaeda answers all the same.

“If I can stand to look at myself, then it’s not much of a challenge to look at others. Especially when it’s you.” When Hinata’s face falls, Komaeda just smiles. “Zuiru, was it? He actually likes that name. It’s the only nickname he ever got. Ehe. It’s cute.”

“That’s...” Flustered, Hinata averts his stare. “Shut up.”

“Wah! What a face!” Komaeda laughs brightly. “Hajime, you really do have an adorable side!”

“After everything I did...” **_Seriously?_** “You still don’t—forgive me, right?”

“I never will,” is the simple reply. “Until you forgive yourself.”

“Never gonna happen.” He shook his head furiously. “So I guess I won’t ever be forgiven.”

“Guess not...” Komaeda sighs. “But, y’know, while it still hurts... I understand why. You were trying to rid the world of villains.”

Hinata scoffed.

“It’s not like you’re the only one that self-important,” Komaeda went on. “I took on every talent with the idea that I could completely change the world without any help. And while the world certainly changed, I... Well, I ended up needing help after all.”

“You ended up defeating despair,” Hinata said. “And the others said you did that on your own.”

“It was...both of us. Me and him. The other me.” Komaeda squeezed his hands into fists. “Strange how things turn out.”

“Strange,” Hinata echoed.

“In those times, what also helped was the words of everyone else,” Komaeda said, quieter now. “Including yours. I wasn’t alone when I stood against despair.”

_What a nice sentiment._

“You don’t believe me,” Komaeda observed. And then, Komaeda’s arms wrapped around him suddenly and tightly. “That’s so despaaaairing!”

“W-Whoa! H-Hey!”

Hinata seized up, heart hammering and body trembling.

“N... Nagito? Or... Zuiru...? H-Hey...”

“You’re so _tense_ ,” the other murmured against his shoulder. “It’s just me, Hajime.”

_Just you?_

Even now, even this close, to call him dazzling would be an understatement. Those snow-white curls looked even more ephemeral when capturing moonlight and starlight. Tracing the lines of his back, Hinata found himself mesmerized even by each knob of the spine. There was also strength in those defined shoulder blades, and such weight carefully positioned on those lean shoulders.

_You’re ridiculous._

He returned the embrace eagerly, even as he snorted incredulously.

“I really adore you.”

“I...” Komaeda inhales sharply, and then. “I want us...to be together. For...as long as we can be.”

“Y-Yeah?” Hinata’s face burned. “Well, aha, it’s not like I have anything better to do...”

“Hajime, you still don’t know what to make of your future, huh.” Komaeda pulled back, but entwined his fingers with the mechanical ones. “The world is open. You can do whatever you want.”

_That—scares me, honestly._

“If you don’t know, that’s fine,” Komaeda added, as if reading his thoughts. “All that matters is that you’re the one shaping your future.”

And what was he supposed to do with that?

_I’m not a guy with aspirations or dreams. I always thought that above me. Hell, right now... Right now..._

“All I really want is to stay with you,” Hinata found himself saying. “If I can come up with something else, I’ll let you know.”

“If you’re going to stay with me, I expect you to work with me to rebuild the world or at least to be there when I need support,” Komaeda said seriously. “You can still dick around, but—I’ll want to rely on you _sometimes_.”

“Only sometimes?” he asked teasingly, to which Komaeda simply nodded.

“Is that alright, Hinata Hajime?”

His eyes burned with earnest expectation, and even if there were several shooting stars overhead, Hinata wouldn’t have been able to look away.

“Yeah...” Swallowing, Hinata cracked a crooked smile. “I guess that’s fine. Although being told that by the Ultimate Hope—what an _honor_...”

“Let’s both do our best from now on, Hajime,” Komaeda chirped, cheerful now. “Let’s face our future and make the most of it. Even despair won’t be able to stand in our way.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, if only because it was easy to get caught up in Komaeda’s infectious optimism. “Let’s do that.”

_I still have no idea what that may entail, what we may end up encountering, but—_

He supposed the least he could do was hope for the best.

_If I have this person by my side... I think there’s not a single rising sun I won’t be able to make it to. That said._

“It’s getting late,” Komaeda said, tugging at his hand. “C’mon Hajime, off to bed.”

“Yeah... Sure. Uh. Hey. Can I cuddle you?”

“Hm? Sure?”

“Can I also...touch your hair?”

“Of course.”

“Awesome.” Hinata grinned. “I couldn’t ask for more.”

_We’ll be fine. I’ll believe that because I’m with you._


End file.
